Friday, November 12, 2010

Watson: I'm pretty fast, I don't think you could catch me if you wanted to.
Me: Yeah, you're probably right.
Watson: I mean it, you probably shouldn't even try.
Me: Ok, thanks for the heads up.
*Watson stares at me for a minute or two
Me: Do you want me to chase you Watson?
*Watson runs away

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Watson: What....what is that smell? It's amazing.
Me: Oh, I put bacon on my sandwich today.
Watson: I must have some.
Me: Ok, give it a try.
Watson: I can't believe it...the's like nothing I've ever had before. I must have more.
Me: Well I just finished the last of it.
Watson: Then I'll just lick your fingers for the rest of day. Keep your hand by your side please.

Monday, October 25, 2010

Watson: This house plant tastes delicious!
Me: Don't lick that!
Watson: This laptop bag tastes delicious!
Me: Watson, no!  You're getting slobber everywhere.
Watson: This chair is delicious!
Me: How do dogs survive in the wild if they lick every new thing they find?  Isn't that dangerous?
Watson: This electrical socket is delicious!
Me: Exactly.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Me: Why do you look so guilty?
Watson: Well, someone that probably isn't me peed in the house.
Me: Probably isn't you, eh?
Watson: I don't want to point fingers, but I think it was Lauren.
Me: I find that hard to believe. Also you don't have fingers.
Watson: I'll rub her nose in it when she gets home so she learns her lesson. You don't need to worry about it, just go back to work.

Monday, October 18, 2010

Watson: There are birds outside! Let me out so I can catch one!
Me: Why would you want to catch a bird?
Watson: Because if I catch one then I'm pretty sure I get the power to fly.
Me: I don't think that's right.
Watson: Well a lab at the park told me it works like that.
Me: I would like a flying puppy...and that is how it works in Mega I guess we can give it a try.

*No birds were harmed in the making of this blog post...yet

Saturday, October 16, 2010

Watson: Where is Lauren, I want to play with her.
Me: I know, she's just in the house.  Once you're done running around out here you can go see her.
*Lauren walks by the door
Me: Watson, no!  The sliding door is still...
Me: ...closed
Watson: What the heck just happened?!?

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Watson: Josh, great news!  I'm getting a surprise from Lauren soon!
Me: What?
Watson: I heard her talking and she said she was going to get me a new dard.
Me: I don't think that means what you think it means Watson.
Watson: Well what is it?  Is a dard a type of treat or something?
Me: I don't want to spoil it for you, but you should probably enjoy your "old dard" as long as you can.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Me: I find it incredibly unfair that you get to nap all day.  I'm probably just as tired as you are.
Watson: I didn't get much sleep last night.
Me: I know, you were keeping all of us up with your little pranks.
Watson: Ha ha, yeah, that was great wasn't it?  Anyways, back to my nap.
*Watson whining at 3:30 am
Me: What?
Watson: I have to go outside, now!
Me: Fine, lets go
*15 minutes pass of Watson running around playing
Me: I thought you needed to go to the bathroom
Watson: I pranked you good, huh? You should see your face!
Me: ...I'm going back to bed.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Watson: Why are you yelling?  I was trying to sleep.
Me: I'm playing Halo and I just got killed.
Watson: You seem to do that a lot.
Me: You'd better watch it or I'll throw this tennis ball at you.
Watson: If you aim with a tennis ball is anything like your aim in Halo I think I'll be just fine.
*Watson rolls over and goes back to sleep.

Monday, October 4, 2010

Me: No, she is going to be late tonight.
Watson: But I want to play with her...
Me: I'm here, what do you want to do?
Watson: You're always here, that's not exciting.
Me: ...

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Watson: CHASE ME!
Me: It's time to calm need to go to bed soon.
Watson: CHASE ME, NOW!
Me: Ok, fine.
*I stand up, Watson runs and jumps on the bed with Lauren and lays down
Watson: Ok, I'm done with you now. Go back to whatever you were doing.

Friday, October 1, 2010

Me: It's just a bird
Watson: LET ME OUT!!!
*We go outside and the bird flies away
Watson: IT CAN FLY?!?
Me: Why are you talking in all caps?

Monday, September 27, 2010

Watson: Hey, I need to go outside.
Me: I've taken you out twice in the last hour already and all you've done is eat leaves.
Watson: Well, I was starving. Also, they are delicious.
Me: Your bowl is full of food.
Watson: Well I probably really have to go this time.
Me: Fine.
*We go outside

Friday, September 24, 2010

Me: Hey, I have a few minutes free from working Watson, do you want to play?
Watson: I'm sleeping, go away.
Me: But you are constantly bothering me to play with you.
Watson: You may site quietly and pet me while I nap. Take it or leave it.
Me: So what should I do with my 10 minute break?
*Watson spills his water bowl all over the floor
Watson: Oh look, you can clean that up. I'm going back to sleep now.

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Watson: I want to play!
Me: I'm on a conference call.
Watson: But I want to play now.
Me: Wait till the call is done.
*Watson jumps on surge protector and turns it off
Watson: Oh look, the call is done. Time to play!

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Watson: If you don't give me part of your sandwich I'm going to like Lauren more then I like you.
Me: You already like Lauren more then you like me.
Watson: Well, I'll make it less obvious.
Me: ...Deal

Friday, September 10, 2010

Watson: May I have my water please?
Me: Promise you won't spill it all over my office?
Watson: Who, me? Of course
*Places water bowl on the floor*
Watson: CANON BALL!!!