Watson: I'm pretty fast, I don't think you could catch me if you wanted to.
Me: Yeah, you're probably right.
Watson: I mean it, you probably shouldn't even try.
Me: Ok, thanks for the heads up.
*Watson stares at me for a minute or two
Me: Do you want me to chase you Watson?
Watson: OH BOY, YES! AHHHHHHH!
*Watson runs away

Watson: What....what is that smell? It's amazing.
Me: Oh, I put bacon on my sandwich today.
Watson: I must have some.
Me: Ok, give it a try.
Watson: I can't believe it...the flavor...it's like nothing I've ever had before. I must have more.
Me: Well I just finished the last of it.
Watson: Then I'll just lick your fingers for the rest of day. Keep your hand by your side please.

Watson: This house plant tastes delicious!
Me: Don't lick that!
Watson: This laptop bag tastes delicious!
Me: Watson, no!  You're getting slobber everywhere.
Watson: This chair is delicious!
Me: How do dogs survive in the wild if they lick every new thing they find?  Isn't that dangerous?
Watson: This electrical socket is delicious!
Me: Exactly.

Me: Why do you look so guilty?
Watson: Well, someone that probably isn't me peed in the house.
Me: Probably isn't you, eh?
Watson: I don't want to point fingers, but I think it was Lauren.
Me: I find that hard to believe. Also you don't have fingers.
Watson: I'll rub her nose in it when she gets home so she learns her lesson. You don't need to worry about it, just go back to work.

Watson: There are birds outside! Let me out so I can catch one!
Me: Why would you want to catch a bird?
Watson: Because if I catch one then I'm pretty sure I get the power to fly.
Me: I don't think that's right.
Watson: Well a lab at the park told me it works like that.
Me: I would like a flying puppy...and that is how it works in Mega Man...so I guess we can give it a try.
Watson: BIRDS!!!! I'M SO EXCITED!




*No birds were harmed in the making of this blog post...yet

Watson: Where is Lauren, I want to play with her.
Me: I know, she's just in the house.  Once you're done running around out here you can go see her.
*Lauren walks by the door
Watson: THERE SHE IS!  LAUREN, HERE I COME!
Me: Watson, no!  The sliding door is still...
*Thunk
Me: ...closed
Watson: What the heck just happened?!?

Watson: Josh, great news!  I'm getting a surprise from Lauren soon!
Me: What?
Watson: I heard her talking and she said she was going to get me a new dard.
Me: I don't think that means what you think it means Watson.
Watson: Well what is it?  Is a dard a type of treat or something?
Me: I don't want to spoil it for you, but you should probably enjoy your "old dard" as long as you can.

Me: I find it incredibly unfair that you get to nap all day.  I'm probably just as tired as you are.
Watson: I didn't get much sleep last night.
Me: I know, you were keeping all of us up with your little pranks.
Watson: Ha ha, yeah, that was great wasn't it?  Anyways, back to my nap.

*Watson whining at 3:30 am
Me: What?
Watson: I have to go outside, now!
Me: Fine, lets go
*15 minutes pass of Watson running around playing
Me: I thought you needed to go to the bathroom
Watson: I pranked you good, huh? You should see your face!
Me: ...I'm going back to bed.

Watson: Why are you yelling?  I was trying to sleep.
Me: I'm playing Halo and I just got killed.
Watson: You seem to do that a lot.
Me: You'd better watch it or I'll throw this tennis ball at you.
Watson: If you aim with a tennis ball is anything like your aim in Halo I think I'll be just fine.
*Watson rolls over and goes back to sleep.

Watson: I HEARD A NOISE!  LAUREN MUST BE HOME!!!
Me: No, she is going to be late tonight.
Watson: But I want to play with her...
Me: I'm here, what do you want to do?
Watson: You're always here, that's not exciting.
Me: ...
Watson: I HEARD A NOISE!  LAUREN MUST BE HOME!!!

Watson: CHASE ME!
Me: It's time to calm down...you need to go to bed soon.
Watson: CHASE ME, NOW!
Me: Ok, fine.
*I stand up, Watson runs and jumps on the bed with Lauren and lays down
Watson: Ok, I'm done with you now. Go back to whatever you were doing.

Watson: THERE IS SOMETHING IN THE YARD!
Me: It's just a bird
Watson: LET ME OUT!!!
*We go outside and the bird flies away
Watson: IT CAN FLY?!?
Me: Why are you talking in all caps?
Watson: I'M REALLY EXCITED!!

Watson: Hey, I need to go outside.
Me: I've taken you out twice in the last hour already and all you've done is eat leaves.
Watson: Well, I was starving. Also, they are delicious.
Me: Your bowl is full of food.
Watson: Well I probably really have to go this time.
Me: Fine.
*We go outside
Watson: DELICIOUS LEAVES, I HAVE RETURNED TO YOU. om nom nom.

Me: Hey, I have a few minutes free from working Watson, do you want to play?
Watson: I'm sleeping, go away.
Me: But you are constantly bothering me to play with you.
Watson: You may site quietly and pet me while I nap. Take it or leave it.
Me: So what should I do with my 10 minute break?
*Watson spills his water bowl all over the floor
Watson: Oh look, you can clean that up. I'm going back to sleep now.

Watson: I want to play!
Me: I'm on a conference call.
Watson: But I want to play now.
Me: Wait till the call is done.
*Watson jumps on surge protector and turns it off
Watson: Oh look, the call is done. Time to play!

Watson: If you don't give me part of your sandwich I'm going to like Lauren more then I like you.
Me: You already like Lauren more then you like me.
Watson: Well, I'll make it less obvious.
Me: ...Deal

Watson: May I have my water please?
Me: Promise you won't spill it all over my office?
Watson: Who, me? Of course
*Places water bowl on the floor*
Watson: CANON BALL!!!