Watson: This house plant tastes delicious!
Me: Don't lick that!
Watson: This laptop bag tastes delicious!
Me: Watson, no!  You're getting slobber everywhere.
Watson: This chair is delicious!
Me: How do dogs survive in the wild if they lick every new thing they find?  Isn't that dangerous?
Watson: This electrical socket is delicious!
Me: Exactly.

Me: Why do you look so guilty?
Watson: Well, someone that probably isn't me peed in the house.
Me: Probably isn't you, eh?
Watson: I don't want to point fingers, but I think it was Lauren.
Me: I find that hard to believe. Also you don't have fingers.
Watson: I'll rub her nose in it when she gets home so she learns her lesson. You don't need to worry about it, just go back to work.

Watson: There are birds outside! Let me out so I can catch one!
Me: Why would you want to catch a bird?
Watson: Because if I catch one then I'm pretty sure I get the power to fly.
Me: I don't think that's right.
Watson: Well a lab at the park told me it works like that.
Me: I would like a flying puppy...and that is how it works in Mega Man...so I guess we can give it a try.
Watson: BIRDS!!!! I'M SO EXCITED!




*No birds were harmed in the making of this blog post...yet

Watson: Where is Lauren, I want to play with her.
Me: I know, she's just in the house.  Once you're done running around out here you can go see her.
*Lauren walks by the door
Watson: THERE SHE IS!  LAUREN, HERE I COME!
Me: Watson, no!  The sliding door is still...
*Thunk
Me: ...closed
Watson: What the heck just happened?!?

Watson: Josh, great news!  I'm getting a surprise from Lauren soon!
Me: What?
Watson: I heard her talking and she said she was going to get me a new dard.
Me: I don't think that means what you think it means Watson.
Watson: Well what is it?  Is a dard a type of treat or something?
Me: I don't want to spoil it for you, but you should probably enjoy your "old dard" as long as you can.

Me: I find it incredibly unfair that you get to nap all day.  I'm probably just as tired as you are.
Watson: I didn't get much sleep last night.
Me: I know, you were keeping all of us up with your little pranks.
Watson: Ha ha, yeah, that was great wasn't it?  Anyways, back to my nap.

*Watson whining at 3:30 am
Me: What?
Watson: I have to go outside, now!
Me: Fine, lets go
*15 minutes pass of Watson running around playing
Me: I thought you needed to go to the bathroom
Watson: I pranked you good, huh? You should see your face!
Me: ...I'm going back to bed.

Watson: Why are you yelling?  I was trying to sleep.
Me: I'm playing Halo and I just got killed.
Watson: You seem to do that a lot.
Me: You'd better watch it or I'll throw this tennis ball at you.
Watson: If you aim with a tennis ball is anything like your aim in Halo I think I'll be just fine.
*Watson rolls over and goes back to sleep.

Watson: I HEARD A NOISE!  LAUREN MUST BE HOME!!!
Me: No, she is going to be late tonight.
Watson: But I want to play with her...
Me: I'm here, what do you want to do?
Watson: You're always here, that's not exciting.
Me: ...
Watson: I HEARD A NOISE!  LAUREN MUST BE HOME!!!

Watson: CHASE ME!
Me: It's time to calm down...you need to go to bed soon.
Watson: CHASE ME, NOW!
Me: Ok, fine.
*I stand up, Watson runs and jumps on the bed with Lauren and lays down
Watson: Ok, I'm done with you now. Go back to whatever you were doing.

Watson: THERE IS SOMETHING IN THE YARD!
Me: It's just a bird
Watson: LET ME OUT!!!
*We go outside and the bird flies away
Watson: IT CAN FLY?!?
Me: Why are you talking in all caps?
Watson: I'M REALLY EXCITED!!