*At 5am this morning
Watson: Hey, are you guys awake?
Us: zzzzzz
*Watson headbutts Lauren
Watson: ARE YOU GUYS AWAKE?!?!?!
Me: What's wrong, do you need something?
Watson: No, I was just curious. Now I'm going back to sleep.
Us: !?!?!?!?!?!?!

Watson: Remember how much you hated that floor mat downstairs?  Well, I took care of it for you.  You're welcome.  Also, on a totally unrelated note, you probably need to vacuum.
Me: ...

Me: Will you just pee already so we can go in?  It's cold out here.
Watson: But I just found this stick, and you'll drag me inside as soon as I go.
Me: Well I'm going to drag you in soon even if you don't go.
Watson: Then I'll just pee inside.
Me: Then I'll rub your nose in it and throw you back outsi....oh.
Watson: Checkmate.  I'll be over here with my stick.