Watson: Hey, I need to go outside.
Me: I've taken you out twice in the last hour already and all you've done is eat leaves.
Watson: Well, I was starving. Also, they are delicious.
Me: Your bowl is full of food.
Watson: Well I probably really have to go this time.
Me: Fine.
*We go outside
Watson: DELICIOUS LEAVES, I HAVE RETURNED TO YOU. om nom nom.

Me: Hey, I have a few minutes free from working Watson, do you want to play?
Watson: I'm sleeping, go away.
Me: But you are constantly bothering me to play with you.
Watson: You may site quietly and pet me while I nap. Take it or leave it.
Me: So what should I do with my 10 minute break?
*Watson spills his water bowl all over the floor
Watson: Oh look, you can clean that up. I'm going back to sleep now.

Watson: I want to play!
Me: I'm on a conference call.
Watson: But I want to play now.
Me: Wait till the call is done.
*Watson jumps on surge protector and turns it off
Watson: Oh look, the call is done. Time to play!

Watson: If you don't give me part of your sandwich I'm going to like Lauren more then I like you.
Me: You already like Lauren more then you like me.
Watson: Well, I'll make it less obvious.
Me: ...Deal

Watson: May I have my water please?
Me: Promise you won't spill it all over my office?
Watson: Who, me? Of course
*Places water bowl on the floor*
Watson: CANON BALL!!!